Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Step dad stories- #1

My Late Step Dad and my late mom dated from when I was in my teens until my mid twenties. This must have happened in the early '70's. LSD had an apartment in a damp heavily wooded area. A common date for the two of them would be for my mom to drive to his "Batchelor pad" (complete with bear skin rug) for a steak and mushroom dinner in front of a roaring fire. There may have been intoxicating beverages served somewhere in there.

At the end of the evening my mom would drive home and call to assure LSD that she had made it home safely. In the interim, LSD would clean up. On this one particular evening apparently on the way from the dining area to the kitchen LSD spotted a stray mushoom sliver on the floor. Never one to waste good food, he bent over and popped it into his mouth and chomped down on it.

Now those who live in damp woodsy areas might be familiar with this denizen. In terms of taste, a mushroom it ain't! As added incentive to NOT chomp down on these there must be a gland that secretes the slime they lay down. Said slime apparently clings quite well to the insides of ones mouth. It sounds as if it resists brushing by toothbrush and must be scraped manually.

This children, is why we don't eat off the floor!

Although there are several more Late Step Dad stories, this one has reminded me of a Fire dept urban legend type story.


  1. OOOOH! EWWWWW! Ick, ick, ick.

    We get those slugs around our house every once in a while. I don't even touch them and they gross me out. I usually yell, "Sweets, come get rid of the icky thing on the sidewalk!" Next time I see one, I hope I can avoid thinking of chewing on one....

  2. That is just not right.