Monday, January 01, 2007

Jeep Jerky

My Esteemed Deceased Stepfather, a man of many talents, was a hunter. He took great pride in his marksmanship, his respect for, and safe handling of guns. For many years he was a member of a hunting group that had exclusive rights to hunt on a large private land holding in Northern California. He was basically unavailable on weekends and holidays during deer season. There was a cabin that was used as a base of operations where large quantities of food and alcohol were prepared and consumed. Pranks were played, and stories spun, boys being boys.
The hunting was done from jeeps in very steep terrain. One year, EDS, while in the back seat of the jeep, spotted a large buck down in a ravine. The brake was set, EDS stood in the back, braced himself on the roll bar, took careful aim through the powerful rifle scope, gently squeezed the trigger until the rifle fired. Still looking through the scope, he saw the buck look up, then prance away unharmed. His hunting buddies started laughing. The bullet had struck the front edge of the red jeep's hood.
EDS's stepson, moi, has been known to file away stories like this for future use. As Christmas approached, I had an idea. I went to a local body shop and obtained a crumbled piece of red sheet metal from a smooshed vehicle. I cut it into strips, wrapped them in tissue paper which I put in a nice box. I then created a label announcing EDS Jeep Jerky! 100% of your daily iron intake in one serving. You shoot it you eat it. And then there were various testimonials from celebrities talking about the wonderful qualities of the product. It was wrapped up real nice and given as a Christmas present. It was a conversation piece for some time to come.


  1. That sir, was brilliant.

  2. That was a good idea, but the real genius lies in the execution. I so often have good ideas, but I am much lazier than the energetic Silliyak.
    You must be fun on April Fool's!

    Thank you for posting the link to the Petaluma hoarder's latest. I have passed this on to other rat activists. Sigh.